17/09/25

At some point in your life, someone let you know you were "too much."

Too sensitive. Too emotional. Too intense. Too needy.

Maybe it was said directly. Maybe it was just a feeling you got when mom sighed at your tears or dad checked out during your stories.

However it happened, you internalized a core belief that would shape every relationship after:

"My full self is too much for anyone to love."

So you learned to calibrate yourself:

• Dial down your emotions

• Give more than you ask for

• Be the understanding one, the flexible one

• Never need too much

But here's what's heartbreaking...

The more you dim your light, the more you attract people who prefer you small.

This creates what I call the Desperation-Repulsion Cycle:

1. You meet someone and feel a spark

2. You open your heart (but not fully - that would be "too much")

3. They sense you're holding back

4. They pull away because the connection feels incomplete

5. You panic and either chase or shut down

6. They withdraw further

7. You blame yourself for being "too much" or "not enough"

Sound familiar?

Maya lived this pattern for 15 years. Every relationship was the same - she'd give everything while hiding her true depth, then wonder why men always described her as "nice but..."

When we looked at her chart, her Venus in Pisces (deep, oceanic love) was square Saturn (restriction, fear). She was literally designed to love deeply but had learned that depth was dangerous.

The breakthrough came when she realized: She wasn't too much. She was with people who didn't have capacity for her depth.

Think about it - would you tell the ocean it's "too wet"? Would you tell the sun it's "too bright"?

Your sensitivity, your emotional depth, your intensity - these aren't flaws to fix. They're your superpowers. But you've been trying to fly with your wings clipped.

Maya decided to stop dimming her light. She started sharing her real feelings, her spiritual interests, her need for deep connection. Yes, some men ran away. Good. They weren't her people.

But then Thomas showed up. A fellow empath who literally thanked her for being "so beautifully intense." They've been together two years now, and he still thanks the universe daily for her depth.

Your sensitivity isn't the problem. Trying to hide it is.

Tomorrow, I'll show you the exact pattern that makes you attract the same unavailable type over and over (and how to break it forever).

With deep understanding, Sonya Schwartz

P.S. If you've ever been called "too much" or "too intense," please know: You're not too much. You're exactly enough for the right person. And they're looking for ALL of you, not the edited version.

At 10:46 PT, Mercury opposes Saturn, highlighting the tension between expression and responsibility. In love, this transit invites us to think carefully about what we say and how we show up. Love, after all, is not just romance or longing, it’s the weight of presence, the discipline of truth, and the courage to honor what we commit to.

With Mercury opposing Saturn, our synastry chart can highlight where communication styles meet commitment patterns in a relationship. It reveals how two people balance truth with responsibility, where words may need to be backed by action, and how enduring love can be built when both choose to show up fully.